Past.

Haha! Man, you have no idea how appropriate my last blog was for how I'm feeling right now.

I just had a quick whiz through old emails. When I say old, I mean when I was about 14. Like, the days when you thought you were really quite mature, but looking back, it's hilarious to imagine the things you used to do.

I just read an email my parents sent Mic- big guy, lives in Aberdeen... drinks a lot of Irn Bru. [: It was this proposed trip to the Deen that some of my mates and me had. Anyway, it all ended up getting in a mad argument. Basically, my parents didn't want me to go up because 1: they didn't trust Mic and 2: didn't really trust me.

It makes me laugh so bad contrasting that to now. My parents trust me with almost anything- I travel quite a lot. I'm not even in the house as much as I used to be.

It's just so weird- to look back and imagine the past. I'm a full time worker now, who will be driving in the next two months. Whoahh. When did the fast-forward button get pushed? I can remember the first trip to Aberdeen. The days when my parents texted and phoned to make sure I was 'safe'. Or even just those trips to the town every Saturday. Its remembering things that is more weird than ever. Because you start to wonder where the links are in your timeline.

Like, where did I learn to be mature and trustworthy? And when? And when did I learn to make the right friends? Because, somewhere along the line, I have.

In some ways, there is a part of me thanking God for having brought me here, to this age and to this stage of life. Because I know I have so much more to learn, but I feel so much more wise! And some people will be reading this and laughing their heads off. Haha. But man, I feel so much older than ever before right now. 

In other ways, I'm dying to go back.

You know, its true that it's good to make mistakes and learn from them. Its also true that I myself learn best from mistakes. But; every time I look back and notice the massive change in situations, people, and most of all me. It just shows even more clearly how fast life is. Those moments we cherish only last seconds in a lifetime. The good times and even the bad, all just are a fleeting moment.

And looking into the past, it can be so funny, and even a little hurtful at times. But you know, it doesn't half remind you of the need for us to live like today is our last day.

Change.

Yesterday was absolute manic. I was volunteer catering for the farewell do for all those leaving this year from SU. It was buffet style- but loads of work. Worked from 8.30am-9.00pm! Ugh dear. I was completely run off my feet! Haha. Even so, good experience.

Actually, sort of looking forward to being in the kitchens more. Its a nice change. But for a year? Well, it'll be interesting anyway.

So, slept till like 12 noon this morning! Missed phonecalls and all that jazz. Oh dear! =P Even so, so needed the sleep. I think I'm gonna do some baking this morning and pick up some Irn Bru! Mhairi hits Glenfy tonight! Oh yeah Baby! :D

Busy few weeks ahead! I of course start full time work on Monday. This Saturday is hill walking... and Sunday I'm gonna chill! =D Monday-Tuesday, work work work. Wednesday is my day off- so hoping to see Mic then! :D And maybe even Claire! Funn shtuff!

Then Thursday- Sunday is my next shift. Oh yeaaah! I'm catering for a massive weekend. Woohoo!

God has definitely got something massively challenging for me this year- I'm just praying he'll get me through it!

Kind of feel a little low this morning- not spiritually, just... the word 'change' seems to be more real than ever to me.

At the start of the year, change wouldn't have been greatly expected or warmly received. However, 2008 has been a weird year, where everything seems to have gone wrong. But now that I look at it, its not that its gone wrong, its more that its just changed.

Thing is, the biggest thing of all is that I've changed with it. And looking back, almost makes me cringe at the person I was. And the things that I fell into.

Thats why this year is something I just know God is going to use to touch me. I know that things are going to change even more- my life has completely changed around. And I want to remember that even when the storms hit home, I have a Saviour who wants to hold my hand through all the roughs.

What an awesome God!

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo 

I'm backbackback!

Whooah. Well, that was a few days of madness!

I really am so tired- calculated it all this morning. Thats me been away from home (with occasional stop ins) for 6 weeks! Lovely. I start work on Monday too- so that should be even more interesting. Trying to juggle sleep, work, SAE and social life is going to be hard. Ach, up for the challenge =P

Even so, forget the tiredness. My gosh- what an exceptional few days?!

I went thinking... "Oh my word... this is going to be rather boring. A few days of being inducted into SU." Worst thing was, I was also sick the morning we were going to leave- it was really rather horrible, having a mix of this throaty/heady cold and a sickness bug was just not nice. However, I went. Soso glad I did. It was 3 days of rather busy times yet it was in the most strange way also a time of having a "retreat". Really getting away, concentrating on God and concentrating on the next year in hand.

So, we were up North in Aviemore. In an SU base called Alltnacriche. Man- how different it is compared to Lendrick Muir. In a good way! It's one of these places that no matter how far you are from the house, you know your not going to get lost. There's a sense of just walking and knowing you have time to listen and to meditate on the things God has spoken to you today. So different from LM- at LM, you can so easily get lost in the forest! There's also just not such a strong sense of family there. Alltnacriche is a family home- you can sense that. Just to set the scene (=P), it's a picturesque house, overlooking large grounds, abounding hills and a stream with a bridge is situated just a few steps away from the door. Rabbits, Pheasents and Squirrels galore!

Every day we were stuffed with seminars, with prayer points and with LOTS of coffee! Half of those seminars were based on the work we were going to be doing with SU and what was connected with it. Such as professionalism or supporting the finance etc. The other half were seriously digging into the word of God. We had a guy called Graham Black there who was really great at what he was doing.

We worked through 1 Samuel- which I have to say, I've never completely understood well, however, I really grasped it there. We also had a seminar which was called 'Bible Engagement"- or "Personal time". Basically it addressed the whole aspect of our quiet times and meditation points with God. We were taught a different way of going through a part of the Bible- which was very helpful, then encouraged to take time out for half an hour to go out onto the grounds or in the house, and take time with one verse. It was absolutely great- I have always encouraged others to take the Bible bit by bit, because I know how exhausting and how confusing it can be to stuff information in by the bundle. Taking it 1 verse at a time though was really taking the pace slow- however, it surprised me how much I could get out of it.

Over the last 6 weeks I have been so busy with different things- trips, work etc. The staff induction was to me meant to be work, however, it really was a retreat. The one thing that my other trips didn't offer me (such as Keswick) was the time on my own to go and pray, or to think. It just really showed me clearly how important again it is to spend alone time with God. Sure, we might not have squirrels skippering about before us, or a stream and bridge, however, time is time. And moments with God go far beyond time. They should be moments cherished, moments we are excited and passionate about.

I so have to commit to being more structural with where I fit everything else. I want God to come first- and time with Him, it changes not only your day, but also your perspective.

Working through Samuel was also so inspirational and encouraging. At the very young aye of three, Samuel was already a boy committed to His Lord and Saviour. We were pushed to not just have a Positional relationship with God (being before God) but also to have a relational side to our faith- (we must have a connection with God and a one to one friendship).

Although Black's teaching was the highlight, there was far more to the few days. We had to apply lots of things to our work with SU. There were points where the house team group couldn't apply a lot of the teaching- however, it was agreed that we actually, as cleaners, do see kids even far more than some of the school workers do.

The few days were solely time to give to God. We got to know one another, got to put faces to names, but really, for me, I felt a deep connection with God that I've needed to have over the summer so dearly. Its moments that you can stop, put the God-breathed teaching into your heart, store the word of God that you have heard, and just spend time thanking Him for who He is and what He has given.

Again, its been a renewal of the need for prayer. I can't stop telling people that if you have a heart for God and for doing things for God- if you have an evangelistic calling, then begin it all in prayer. Its my belief that without God being involved in the mission that you want to begin, then its a false attempt at doing something that God needs to be a part of.

Meeting up with the Gap year girls too was really great. Its going to be good working with a few of them, however I know I am restricted to the kitchens more than anything for the next six months. That will be a little hard- however, I am just praying that God will equip me.

I have no doubts in believing that He brought me here for a reason. I also believe God brought me to it, because he does know that I can go through it with his help. This quote keeps coming back to me- "God does not call the equipped, but equips the called." I just feel that that quote sums up my job at the moment. I have no particular skilling in catering, however I do feel he will equip me in knowledge, patience and confidence.

Being away at the retreat sometimes makes you feel a little bit dizzy when you get back home. Its bad news to hear my Grandad is once again in hospital- yet, there are some blessings in that He has spent time with my Gran recollecting the past and taking a look at the good times. 

A little bit of the bad news also is that, I'm still quite ill. Rubbish thing is, I start work on Monday (full time) but I'm also working tomorrow. Its just a little bit annoying that I'm still not myself. I really don't have bundles of energy and feel a little drained still. However, I have every belief that the sniffles will go when I get praying- if your reading this and could pray too- that would be fab!

So, I actually felt like I should write my blog post first. Get it all off of my chest! Bebo doesn't seem to be working- maybe God is telling me something! =P I realised half way through last night that I actually hadn't been thinking about Bebo at all up North. Doesn't that show you something?! =P

So I have a farewell dinner tomorrow to cater for. A meeting to attend. Friday is my day to chill! Going to spend it with God! Then Sat, few of us going for a walk. Sunday- another God day! Yass. :D

I think I'm going to pester my Dad and get my provisional liscence tonight. Woop!

Anyways, 

I'm back! (FOR GOOD)

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo 

Big Celebration... Being commissioned. I'm a part of a bigger plan.

Its been a while. I'm sorry!

So, a little bit of a mad weekend. (Little?! Seriously- I'm so tired!)

Rowan arrived on Friday, by this time, I was feeling a tiny bit better from the cold- however, it got worse. We spent the evening making video's and stuff... and awaiting my mum to arrive home from her 60 mile bike ride. 

So its not usual for my Mum to have ridden so long, or ridden at all actually. However, if some you guys don't know, my Mum also works for SU Scotland. (That's one thing I forgot to say earlier in my posts, I will be working alongside my Mum this year. Don't know whether thats a good thing or bad. I've yet to find out I think. =P) Even so, she had organised a bike ride from Altnacriche (Aviemore), to Lendrick Muir (Crook of Devon) with about ten people, to raise money for SU centres over Scotland. Just over 100 miles. My mum did the first half with my wee sister, and my Dad then did the second half, with my sister again. Mum came back home on Friday night walking like a penguin, and with bags under her eyes the size of elephants!

Rowan and me were then at the Big Celebration on Saturday. I wasn't going to work- considering I was feeling so ill. However, I went in. Worked with some really great people all day. In fact- I felt like I was dying for the most part of it, but I did have a good time. It was just under a 12 hour shift, which integrated in with the Big celebration final meeting. We catered for an expected 400 people, however 400 people didn't show up. In any case, I was making pizzas, muffins and salads. It might not sound that exciting, but it was alright.

Saw Ali and Faye- Man, I love these guys. Faye is a lovely girl. Got her heart and head right there in with God- so much respect to her and her faith. [: Ali. Well, he's just Ali. =P Legend of course... These guys both help out on SAE. Was good to see them and have a very quick catch up! Was also with Catriona for a while- girl from camp. Was class too.

So the Big celebration meeting was interesting! My name showed up on screen and I ended up having to be at the front and be prayed for and commissioned. It was slightly weird in some ways. They prayed something like, "God has taken you this way. He has opened this door". What is it with God, me, and the word 'door?'

I really can't say that until yesterday night, I had a very clear idea of what I was truly doing. Yes, it's true to say that I knew God was calling me. But more than anything, last night was an eye-opener to just how much what I'm doing will hopefully count. Standing in front of 200-300 people wasn't something I was quite expecting to do. Yet, over the next year, I'm going to be working with hundreds of kids, adults and teens - in fact, I'm going to be a part of an organisation that works with kids all over Scotland. We're not just talking hundreds- we're crossing thousands. From working in camps, to working with kids in schools all over. SU Scotland is a name that a surprising amount of people have heard. And yet- it even goes further than that! Scripture Union is touching people worldwide! I'm just another one running the race.

Its the first time I've been commissioned. I've spent the last 12 years in school. In a place where my only motive has been to learn and to make the grade. Yes, my year at SU will be to learn. I don't doubt I'll finish it with a lot more maturity, with a lot more confidence and hopefully lots of recipes to be remembered! But, I feel this year will also be to reach out and to touch. God has so clearly put me here, and it's humbling. So humbling to know this is his plan! I'm part of something huge- something that has touched many of my friends hearts.

Serving lots of hungry kids will hopefully not just be my only task at Lendrick Muir- but I'm hoping that feeding some of the spiritually hungry kids will be something that I will also come across.

Maybe last night was just a realisation that I've got so much to learn and so much to do, but yet, I'm part of not just an amazing organisation, but also I'm part of God's plan! My dream of working with kids is actually coming true! 

Don't doubt God's faithfulness, He really will stick by you.

So, this next week holds much more activity. Sleeping till ten doesn't help with my tiredness anymore! (Oh dear!) Monday to Wednesday I travel up North in a minibus with Helen's iPod 70s music  (according to her), and will be going to a SU Staff induction. Little nervous- still to meet the new gap year team and meet some of the people that are working all over for SU Scotland- Glasgow and Altnacriche included. Prayer would be so greatly appreciated!

On Thursday, I have a meeting to discuss my new job- prayer again, even in these small things... is so needed.

From Friday to Sunday I have my last few days of freedom (unless I'm called to work over the weekend). What oh what shall I do in these lovely few days?! Ideas are wanted!

God Bless you all!

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo 

Slept too much.
Feel Awful.
Should go back to Bed.
Read My Bible quite a bit.


Oh, and Rowan arrives tomorrow.
We're going to PARTAY.
However, I can hardly speak.


Greaaaat.

SAEEEEE.

WOOP.
So, Music night this eve on SAE- going ace I think! [:

Kind of awful day to be honest... I'm ill. I blame Mars and Euan- I feel so bad. Haha. Oh well.

Except from doing a tad of ironing, a few SAE vids... I just prayed.

One thing that I can't get over is the joy tat speaking to God brings. I mean, seriously, just chatting with Him is so essential! :D

Anyways, better get back to SAE!

Turrah.

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo

Things are coming, coming, coming together with SAE! Woo! =D If you don't get what SAE is, www.bebo.com/-s-a-e- is the place to check all things out!

YES! WE DID IT! We revamped! And okay, so I'm getting excited about a small revamp... and, yes, it's true to say that there isn't a huge amount of people come on. But there has been people. Our changes are fresh, jazzy and could hold so much potential.

And hey, I'm not doubting God's hand over the site. What I've grown to understand with God is that, even when things seem to be at their lowest of lows, God is sometimes just testing us to see if we trust Him even in the storm. SAE was so hard to give up to God. Sounds so silly- but you know what, when you get attached to something, it becomes your life, your time; you sometimes forget that actually instead of you making more worry over it than you maybe should, pass the bundle on to God. Though hard for us to understand, God appreciates us being able to trust him with our burdens.

So, to be honest, seeing the members number go up, comments being sent a little more and the general attitude to the new revamp being all good- I feel so grateful for God actually pushing me to work on the site. Gosh, SAE brought me the biggest part of my maturity. I had to learn to acknowledge problems bigger than any I had ever been faced with before. Some people question my age, ach, I can only be thankful to God for giving me a mind that has learnt to work with situations of all kinds. I'm not 'further ahead'. I just have been able to watch some of the world. By the world, I don't mean the hills, the mountains and the seas (If I did, it would mean I would have actually gone abroad before :P), I think the world is almost shaped and carved by its people. Watching people, getting to know people- it really widens your horizons of the world we live in.

So, I guess I'm coming to you this evening with a joyful heart! Fireworks haven't started on SAE, but its nice to see it kicking off a little more. I have trust that God will create bigger things in the months to come! Exciting or what?!

So, we had a good day! Mars banter. (Apparently, I was chuckling in my sleep last night. Since when have my dreams been that funny?) We shopped till we dropped. Quite literally. It was a wee treat for both of us having passed our exams rather well! I'm armed with pretty jazzy clothes and oh my word- best bit, I have wellies! =D

Met Euan half way through the day. He said I was boring. Then complained that we sit in silence for too long. (Thing is, Mars and me are around each other too often to actually pay attention to our moments of quiet. In fact, the moments of quiet are cherished. :P)

Journey back was rather awful. The bus stank of fish. (Euan decided to inform me that a man in his bus with a mullet had farted. Great.) But hey, I'm home!

I love seeing my family after a wee while of having not been with them. It's not so much that I miss them, but that I just enjoy their company. Their a great bunch.

So, I have a day to myself tomorrow. Clean the house maybe? :P Shhh. Don't tell Mum. Last time I did it, she got a surprise when she came through the door. It was madness. Even so, the house was grand. But the real question is, what time shall I manage to get up? =P

I'll leave you with the most interesting and biggest news.

I HAVE OFFICIALLY LEFT SCHOOL.

It feels good. Surprisingly! Something in my heart tells me that God has had it in His plan from the start. So anyone who's sitting here reading this and thinking to themselves that they are most definitely staying for their final year of school; don't make your mind up so hastily. God has a way of changing things. Especially when you don't expect it.

That's one really amazing thing about God. At each moment of life, He always has a plan, but he always keeps you entertained (or busy) with whatever it is. Thing we sometimes forget is that He actually always has it in his hands, we always just like to take more of the load.

Ach. Time to really lean on Him. IN ALL THINGS. :D

-Friend of Jesus,

[: Eli xo 

Understanding a little further...

Heyyyy!

Wow. So I feel a little bit better this evening.

Woke up at 12:30! Haha... But man, I so needed that sleep! Still do to be honest! =P Even so, had a nice wee morning just relaxing. Missed church- but apparently it wasn't that good anyways!

So, I guess I should probably explain a wee bit about church for you guys. Well, at the current moment, my family and I don't have one. I guess there's a couple of reasons for that. Firstly, we're all a mixed bunch. My mum came from a strict baptist family and my Dad was a Free church dude. Through the last couple of years I've been to baptist churches, free churches, evangelical churches, Church of Scotland's, Pentecostals and the list probably goes on. It's kind of hard to keep up with them all. I have no complaints about going to so many different churches, actually its one thing I really appreciate about my experience with it all. Going to so many churches allows me to actually understand different traditions and understand what is the normal structure to a service.

However. Not having a church for the last year has been really hard for my family. Plainly because as a family we feel we need a church (another family) to support us, to keep us regenerated in God's word. Truth is, we're a very, very close knit family (Praise God! =P I wouldn't trade them for the world. They've been an inspiration, a help and a blessing. I think we've been a blessing to each other.) and not having church as part of our life is so difficult. Through the last months, we've persevered in having God as the head of the house. With having quiet times, even moments of song! There is a deep sense of wanting to follow God in our home. We just hope though that church will become an aspect in our lives again. I really miss it.

Tonight I was at the Nazarene church (Oh yes, that's another church that we go to!) at one of its specials. I went feeling pretty down about faith and life. Having had a stressful 5 weeks, with camp, trips and obviously our very unexpected trip to England, my head has been completely zapped. I have felt so tired and also very confused about next steps.

Its true to say, that I really shouldn't be confused about my next steps. And to be honest, I'm not really. I think I'm more afraid of them.

Working at Lendrick Muir shall be an interesting year. I was thinking this morning- "God, for the last month/year, I've been so deeply praying for mission. I have felt the deep burden of Scotland on my heart and felt Keswick was just another calling to go and do something for You. So you bring me to the door- I'm waiting so anxiously for the great work to be opened. And yet, you bring me here. To a year of cleaning and cooking. How can that possibly glorify You?"

And to be truthful, I've been thinking that for the last month since the job was offered. Seriously, how can cleaning toilets take me anywhere? But tonight really opened my eyes up to where God is going to take me.

Luke chapter 5:1-11 talks of how Jesus approaches Peter and asks him to be a "fisher of men". It talks about how Peter goes out onto the river and instantly, the fish are brought in- all because Jesus promises that they would. When Peter put down the nets, he instantly followed. He knew that Jesus was not only powerful, but also to be trusted.

I do feel such a calling on my heart. I can't explain the deep burden that I have on me to witness to people (especially in my country) about the Lord. I feel like Peter in so many ways, I'm actually so wanting to drop my nets and just go- to be a fisher of men.

The one thing that was brought out this evening was this verse in Luke 5 -

"But at your word I will let the nets down"

See, the thing is, Peter trusted that Jesus' word alone would be enough. And the one thing that I know I need to understand is that Jesus has opened up the door of LM for a reason. And its for that reason that I shall go through it.

And you know what, I think cleaning toilets, and chopping tatties may take me somewhere else in later life that will far surpass my own expectations. I'm so glad that God holds the reins over my life rather than I. I mean, I'm terrified about this year. But I know that what it holds will be a blessing. I'm looking forward to a fresh start and a bigger commitment to God.

I've been on an all time low with God for the last week. I think it's more to do with the fact that death is creeping up on someone I love. Not only that, but I've also been feeling so drained. Being back in church has given me some serious passion.

We sang this well known hymn, written my Townend:

"In Christ alone"

This verse just really hits home right now.

'No guilt in life, no fear in death -
This is the Pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Here in the pow'r of Christ I stand.'

I realise that I finally have to step back, not only breathe a little, but grow to understand that this deep calling- if it is God's calling will take place in His timing. And hey- My grandad will be standing in the pow'r of Christ not just today, but tomorrow- and forever.

It's so encouraging to know that there are a congregation of people, far beyond our comprehension joining with us to stand in His power.

I thought of this other thing this morning - (yeah, my brain is working today! :P) I was just thinking of the word 'reign'. And thinking of what it truly means.

See I think there are so many ways to make 'reign' mean something within us. I think we have to understand that God must reign in all his authority in our lives- we have to understand that he has to take the reins for us to go anywhere! And we also have to allow him to reign in our lives something of his goodness. If we don't accept his blessings, then we won't be blessed. And nor will our work for His Kingdom.

I know I'm finding it difficult to get my head round the fact that this year I'll only be doing small things in contributing to the organisation Scripture Union, but I'm blessed to be working for a Christian organisation full-stop. I'm so happy that I can be doing something for God. I don't have any trouble in trusting that he will bring me to better things soon though.

I just pray that I'll learn to trust that He has a plan in what I do. And that when the door seems just too hard to see, that he'll open up some windows.

I'm on fire for God- "He's a consuming fire!" It's time to get stuck back into God's word, I need sleep and revitalising! Haha.

Catch ya's all soon!
:D

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli xo [:

Madd week!

Hey!

I'm sorry its been so long- I've been so busy! 

Monday- Friday we were down South in Oxfordshire. It was a really hard time, but also encouraging in many ways. Sometimes you don't realise the extent to which your family can join together and work together to make things happen. I guess that's one thing God has really blessed us with.

It was a busy week to be honest. I guess I packed figuring that I'd be stuck in Gran's all day, whilst my mum worked. But it turns out that we spent over 4 or 5 hours in the hospital or in Oxford, and the rest doing other multiple things. I went to a fish market- okay, so it was well funny, the Watford, North London woman was asking my gran if she was buying fish for her "toy boy". Haha! Well, they got to talking about how my Granpi was in hospital and how the "fish people" send their love. I guess in many ways, it just makes you think how much some elderly folk must appreciate people that interact with them in such ways. To know that even someone as random, and as insignificant as those on the fish market, are offering my Gran a conversation that will brighten up her day just that bit more is really encouraging.

So, I'm not saying the time in the hospital was easy- it was very hard to watch him in such pain. But then, I think we all understand that what God has put my Grandpa through- My Grandpa can easily work through. If he couldn't, God wouldn't have made it in such a way.

Even so, it was great through the week because Jenni came and hung about with me. We ate chips over at the hospital. Drank Bru whilst Mother and Gran drove away. Watched 'Walk the Line' and bought three Johnny Cash albums for £3. [: Oh yes. I mean, Me and Jenni have to have banter no matter what!

I got to see my wee cousin on Friday too- she's 2 years old now. She's also incredibly cute and just learning to really talk!

The drive back up North was awful- took us 9 and a half hours. And gosh, we were so tired. Although, I had been drinking a lot of relentless and fizzy juice. I was way too hooked up on caffeine.

So I guess we're going into a new week- and man, I wish I could just sit still for one moment, and make the time stop. Hold down the minutes and the seconds, and just breathe. I haven't had a moment to do that yet.

Went up to my Gran's graveyard today. It's weird to think back just a few months to standing at the funeral, watching the coffin go down. I mean, it all seems too much of a blur to be real. I'm exhausted by everything. Haha!

So, I hope to make the SAE changes by Monday. Close call as always. Really wondering what God has in store for SAE what with me having accepted the full time job of cleaner and catering assistant at Lendrick Muir- SU. (I start Sept 1st!) I'm kind of wondering whether SAE is worth continuing. I don't know. Maybe it's a lack of energy. Either way, need to get praying.

I guess the church situation isn't helping either. Whilst we've searched everywhere- we just can't seem to find a church for us. Maybe it is time to look further than we had ever expected. I can't wait to get driving! I should be getting my provisional in the next week or two. I'm hoping that it actually means I can go to a church I feel comfortable in. We'll see.

Anyways. Times plodding on, and I think my bed calls. Hopefully I'll be keeping blogging as much as I can! The last few days have just been uberly rushed though.

- Friend of Jesus,

Eli xo [: 

Toooz day!

Yeeeoo.

So its been a long day! Was so hoping for a lie in, but apparently the freak out of my mum's wireless connection was far more important and worth screeching in my ear about. Mum's aye? =P

Spent the morning kind of chilling- ie- numerous cups of teas and a little bit of sunbathing. =P Then went to the hospital. Turns out my gran was trying to get into a hospital room that wasn't even grandpa's. Haha, was amusing! When we did find him, it was a little unresting. Just because, living up north, I haven't seen him properly since he's grown so ill. There were lots of things I picked up on and being around a hospital again really scared me! I did have to go out for an hour or so- just meant I could catch up with Mars though.

We just had this massive dinner as well! :P We took my gran to Tesco, where she doesn't normally go at all! And she had a ball trying to find everything she needed. Because her eyesight is so bad, she ended up looking for lettuce in the chicken fillet section!

I plan on resting this evening. Gosh, I thought it was only when you got old that you started to really understand tiredness. But I can't believe how tired I am at the moment- I think its more a bundle of stress and busy-ness. Even so, being down south at the moment is the best thing we can do. We are being useful- even in small ways. It's just from today that I think we're more aware of how long we expect life to be, and yet how short life can be too. No matter how much there is a chance of extended days, even those days will get shorter.

Heyy- it's great though that in Heaven there will be no more days- just everlasting heavenly worship!

Tomorrow looks to be another busy day! I was kind of a bit gutted because I never got to drive today, so I plan on driving tomorrow early on. My mum and Gran want to head to the fish market of all places! Then we're meeting Jenni and heading to the hospital once more.

I think things will be better with Jenni around anyway. It means things might be a little more chilled [:

Anywayss, Must go!

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli xo [:

England is pretty darn hot!

Man, so the journey took us 8 hours- I'm exhausted! 10 minutes of kip. And the rest trying to make sure my mum didnt fall asleep- ach, im glad we're here!

So we just spent the last hour on skype with my dad showing my gran the house. =D Funny.

Anyways- Seeing my grandpa tomorrow! Little scared as I get really easily freaked by hospitals and wires and oxygen... so yeah. Hmm.

Apart from that- oh my gosh! I need like ice cubes, a fan... pfft. England, (this room) is far too hot.

Anyways!

Tomorrows post might be a little more exciting :P

-Friend of Jesus

Eli xo [:

Heyys,

So back from Berwick... was good. Now off down south.

If you reading this (sorry I don't have long to blog =P) please pray for my family. My grandad is pretty ill, and I'm heading down for a week with my mum to be a support.

Catch yasss.

:D xo

My Trip To Glasgow...

Yeoo!

Im in Glasgow.

Woop, its all fun here, although Im typing this on a Dell. How Dull. Haha.

Anyways, pretty tiresome day, but good. Got a bus at half 12 from the village, which would then arrive at the bus station leaving me ten minutes of waiting for my next bus to take me to Glasvegas.

My bus from the village was 10 minutes late.

Yeah, so, I just felt God saying "Be still and know that I am God" I guess at the time, it still made me go "AAAARGHHH", but I managed to catch the bus. It left the station as I got on though. :P Man, I love God's need for us to trust- although, it can be so so hard sometimes!

Anyways, on the bus I read through half of Nehemiah. And gosh, I love that book! I remember the first time I read it and was so enthused because it was a book I understood when I was little. This time it spoke huge lengths of truth to me.

Nehemiah was concerned about God's concerns. (I love that quote from George Muller- "If it is your will God; I will.) He constantly listened to God, constantly trusted God's plan. And, Nehemiah wasn't scared, but knew that with God on their side, they had already won the war. The wall he rebuilt was God's wall- (just like our mission field, we need to rebuild) Nehemiah got people together from every walk of life, and used them as brick layers, as watchmen. Daughters were used to rebuild the wall even. There was such a desire from Nehemiah to let God reign again. It should be our passion to allow God to reign in our cities, in our country and in our world. We need to be the bricklayers- the sower of seeds.

Aye, so after that... met Row, got yet another bus. Managed to change into tomorrow's outfit- to see what Cara's amazing shoes looked like with it all. (photos soon!) And also eat some dinner. Woo! Now sitting here, on the computer... catching up on bebo. woop! lol :P

Anyways, tomorrow, we hit Berwick, and Ali's 18th Ceilidh. Doubt there will be a post from me tomorrow. However, you never know! :P

Will be back and alive again on Sunday/Monday night. Catch yas all then!

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo

Turdsday and all that [:

Heyy,

So I guess its been a pretty good day! I'm just not feeling too great at the moment.

I was meant to get up early to meet Lisa here, but unfortunately I slept after my alarm had went off and woke up to have half an hour to get ready. Great :P Whizzed in and out of the shower- Mhairi whizzed in and out of the shower. It was an awful lot of whizzing!

Day was awesome really- we recorded an episode of Doctor Who. Don't think any of us actually thought it was our best production piece :P, but ach... costumes were great fun! Our Daleks.. wow, they were so cool! 

See the link to the left!

Then, as the night went on... folks left- Cara arrived! Stole a few of her shoes. Got the news about my Grandpa being taken back into hospital again. It's something we're all kind of getting used to now, but still a horrible experience. Even for us who live hundreds of miles apart. Our love and respect for him doesn't change a thing.

So the doctors say that this is just a regress... and that things will grow worse. God's worked so many miracles into the lives of my grandparents- and I don't doubt there will be many to continue on even in the last days.

If one thing has changed my outlook on so many things this year, it's the shortness of time. Man, we cling onto the need to grow one year older- to feel a little bit more "mature". The one thing we dearly want, is what some just can't hold on to- life.

And yet, with the passing of my great aunt, my gran... both were so dedicated to God. So passionate about what they believed in, trusted in and lived for. My mum said to me about my gran, "In some ways, she had nothing to live for, and everything to die for". Only some of our closest friends will know that my Gran died very suddenly, but she left her Bible open on the very memorable verse about "this day you shall be in Heaven."

When I get faced with any kind of illness or death, Job's story just seems to hit me every time. "God gives, and he takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised forever."

Truth is- sometimes we don't understand why people are taken from us- but God does. And truth is, if God weren't in charge, what would the world really be like?

So even in the confusion of what is happening at the moment, I can't help but be reminded of the beautiful promise God gives constantly to control all things, and keep his hand outstretched even in the worst of situations.

Thing that's so hard for people to understand is the fact that some people are just ready to go. Why's that so hard to understand? I think it's probably because we simply are not. And it's hard for us to get our head around death, because for the folks that know its time to go, death is starting to be truly understood. Biggest thing of all though, is that all those I've lost or who I'm about to lose know/knew in their hearts, souls and minds, that Jesus has already conquered death, and that "A thousand days in your Courts Oh Lord, are better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of My Lord than dwell in the tents of the wicked." 

See, I guess I feel in every way that tears are the only way through... but second-looking, I think rejoicing is more appropriate.

Its harsh and horrible to hear about pain and ill health, but "there will be no more tears or crying" in glory. And as every day, every second and every moment grows that bit closer, it's so incredible to know that eternity stands at the doorway of those who have knocked.

And for those watching... "Weeping will be in the evening, but rejoicing will come in the morning!" Death is only the true doorway to freedom. That's what I really need to work on.

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo

Eveeening! (It's kind of morning- but who cares! =P)

So today was BUSY! Whilst not really being that busy. It was kind of a repeat of yesterday. More chillaxing though! And, a haircut. Ha. It was pretty fun. Oh, and I had macaroni Cheese- that doesn't happen often for me (and hey, I'm easily amused as you can tell :P).

Now sitting here with Mars, (who by the way is wearing these luscious cow patterned pj bottom's, which seriously, contrast nicely with her beautiful Timberland red hoody- ned!) and we're about to either head off to bed, or amuse one another till Mars feels sleepy. We spent all of the evening planning for my 17th, which by the way will be absolutely revolutionary- invite only! =P

We giggled lots. Googled lots. And now feel our task is almost done. We have loads more stuff to fit together and all that jazz- but wow, is it gonna be an exciting day! [:

Tomorrow, we're doing our annual sort of meet up of crazy people to create something we like to call a "movie". It should be banter! Still no idea what the movie shall be, however, if you have seen our previous works of Lord of the Rings, MacBeth and 24 News... You'd know that our tactics and our acting skills are almost hysterically moving. =P

So keep your eyes peeled for my youtube page! - I'll give you the link tomorrow! [:

Quote for today:

"Be happy, young man while you are young. and let your heart guide you in joy in the days of your youth. . .

So then banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body. . .

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come."

Ecclesiastes 11-12

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo

Exam results and a day of BANTER!

Hey again!

Well today was a busy day- busy to the extent of being tired by watching TV :P

Whenever Euan comes down to Perth, we always have trouble trying to find out what we can actually do- well today was exactly one of those days. I'm not entirely sure whether to blame Euan for the inactivity or Perth. =P Even so, the day contained a tad of shopping with Mhairi (who by the way, ACED her exams- 4 A's and a C!), and then some serious chilling at her's... with pizza (Mickey Mouse style) and then a very rushed walk back to the bus station. The rushing didn't help because we missed the bus, (which apparently is my fault. Sorry Euan! :P). Even so, I walked back to my dad's work and stopped along by the pond on the way. Sat there and read Proverbs for quite some time- kept on praying and praying about results- you should have seen me this morning! I was feeling like barfing! =P God spoke to me then and there and told me what true wisdom and understanding were- and they aren't found on an SQA Exam result paper.

So, with a better thought in my head, Dad and I went back home. Opened up my exam result paper- with Catriona trying to fight her way into my bedroom! (Sisters aye?!) And it turns out things were better than I thought. 3 A's and 1 B! 

A- MATHS

A- RMPS

A- ART

B- ENGLISH

For me, art's made me smile! That's what I wanted so badly- and God's really provided... and hey, not going below a B for me is pretty good work! I'm really happy! And good news is, no need to go back and study more. This year contains a new field of work... (yes, I think I will accept the job offer... more news later!)

Other than the hysteria of results- I was going to share with you my dream for later life, so here goes...

I had this idea/vision of a school. Not an ordinary school though, more like a university but not quite so tied up with qualifications. It would be like a training school that would equip young students who have their hearts set on missions (of any kind) to actually get somewhere. So, there would be lecturers, and the lecturers would "lecture" :P in things from A-Z, so that young people can train for a year (or more) and do things such as teaching, medicine, ministers or youth leaders. In many ways we wouldn't be a university or college able to provide people with qualifications (they'd have to study medicine at uni), but we would be the bridging between uni and full time work. It would allow a year of learning to apply the prior training of medicine/youth work/ministerial work, to the fundamental need to bring Christ to the forefront of whatever field of work you are in.

So therefore, young students could gain a year of working to:

1: Grow closer to God themselves

2: Learn to apply God in their work

3: Establish how God can use them and where

In essence, a year to allow them to prepare and to strengthen themselves. The organisation would also place each student in a country depending on a particular need or the student's preference.

I mean, at the end of the day- big plans, but we are meant to be salt and light to the world right? What could be better than training others up and giving them the opportunity to go out and make a change in the world? We need it so badly- and this year wouldn't just allow opportunities, it would allow growth in relationships with God and show each student why missions work is so important, from a personal level to a national level.

I don't know- I'm really excited about this idea, but then it hits me how small I am, and how large the world is.

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo

Monday [:

Heyy guys,

Don't know how many of you are actually keeping up to date with this blogging, but this is a good way to know what I'm doing with my next few months- which by the way, are more exciting than ever before! =D

So, it's Monday! It's still the holidays and I've kind of taken the advantage of my free day and slept till the lovely time of 1pm! My sister moaned for me to get up, but I wouldn't get up without breakfast in bed! Smaller sisters are great! =P

Had a rough evening last night- my usual late night online msn-ing and bebo-ing was on the go again- and I was faced with loads more situations to give encouragement and advice about. Don't get me wrong, I love giving advice! I also feel like God is really using me to help people. But (as some of you might know) SAE (www.bebo.com/-s-a-e-) deals with people from every corner and walk of life. We counsel young Christians, middle aged Christians and even people that hate God to bits! From suicide and self harm to sheer neglect and a deep feeling of being unloved, we meet people online who are in desperate need of help. At some points, we can't really do too much. Others, we always have a work to be done.

Over the last year, working with SAE has changed my perspective on so many things; however, the biggest thing that it has changed for me is my need and passion to pray. We tell most members on SAE that we will pray for them- and as much as we can, we do! Seeing answered prayers is life-changing at points! You finally start to understand how much God has a hand in situations when Christians join together to pray for things.

So last night, was just one of those nights where I asked God to speak through me once again. Last night was a little different though as I began to get my head around how difficult and how painful a number of these problems are for young teens.

My biggest piece of advice for a young Christian who wants to make a difference in the world where they are, is to look into people's lives- look at an individual and get to know them as an individual. Sometimes, we ourselves are so caught up in the difficulties in our own lives that we forget other people who need so much, and yet aren't getting it.

SAE was a small site that turned into something massive- and God is using it, and has used it. But it all kicked off with prayer. It's joined by prayer. It's like the main link to what the site is- we constantly pray for others. Moderators understand that it goes beyond our own lives- we've been put in a place to help and be a witness to others, because we have acknowledged that above all else, we are to love and to set an example to all.

So whilst situations can sometimes take us over, and we're faced with the difficulty of them- it's encouraging to know that:

1: We're in this place online because God has put us there. And he is using us in it.

2: God has a hand over all things- even though situations get way bigger than what we could ever cope with, he is supreme over things we just can't handle. (That even counts moderators who don't know what to say to people who have some of the worse situations at hand).

Other than last night, today promises to be a relaxing day! Having been away and kept busy for the last 4 weeks, it's almost weird to be stopping for one day! However, I still will be keeping busy working on SAE and actually putting into place the exciting new revamp! Oh yes- it will be an awesome few weeks, so keep your eyes on www.bebo.com/-s-a-e- and watch out for some extremely exciting new things to happen!

Yesterday afternoon I also had this amazing idea as to what my future might hold- I don't know if it was a vision from God, or just one of my mad ideas but it's sticking in my mind and heart- so I'll fill you in tomorrow! As some might know, my year ahead is puzzling and a little confusing. Having left school earlier than usual, I'm working out the next stages, and having been offered a job in the last week, I'm also puzzling over whether to accept or not.

If you have some time and are actually looking at this =P, prayer for the months ahead with me would be really appreciated! Even so, I'll keep you up to date with where my decisions lie and what God brings me to in the next week or two!

Exciting or what? :P

-Friend of Jesus

Eli xo [:

Heyy,

So this is the first blog entry- something I guess I wasn't really expecting to start! However, now that I have, I think I'm going to enjoy it more than I ever thought.

So, first thing's first... I'm Eli [: Pretty much an average chick, with an extraordinary God. I think when people first hear that, they kind of press the "off" button to their brains and simply presume that I'm a traditional Christian, who spends my Sunday's sitting in church, on the very hard wooden pews, and who also spends Monday to Saturday in vigorous and (as they might put it) terrificly boring prayer meetings. 

Well, I'm a little different to what some may expect. These blogs that I'll be writing will allow you to actually keep up to date with who I am and what stage of life I'm at.

Truth is- half the time I have no idea what's coming next! But I think that's the truly exciting thing about life. 

What you should also probably know is that I'm a girl with a massive heart for her country- Scotland. But also, I feel a deep calling to do things for God; not because I want to spend the rest of my life in dull prayer meetings (which actually, people underestimate- there is no greater thing than prayer), but because I have experienced, and am experiencing the salvation in which Christ gave.

It's changed my life- and I'm just watching some of God's plans unravel as I grow closer to Him!

- Friend of Jesus, 

Eli xo [: