My goodness me! Haha, I hadn't quite realised just how late I am in writing a new blog post. 19th of Oct?! That seems a century ago!
I have a lot that's happened, and to be totally honest, I can't be completely bothered to type it all out. However. Since bebo, facebook and all other possible sites that I seem to have joined, are being pretty much ignored right now, I thought I'd be loyal to my mates who don't hear from me all the time and keep them updated with my going's on!
Well. Where to start?
I guess you could start with today. 9th of November, Rememberence Sunday. It had actually been a pretty good day. Our cottage has now officially got a little bit warmer! Using our open fireplace, which I'm sitting beside right now, enjoying the heat ;) I love it when it gets cold enough to sit in front of a fire and fall asleep. Not that I get the chance to do anything like that very often. Had Kat, Cara and Mutch around for lunch today, was a really relaxed day actually.
Church + All that jazz. So, Mum and Dad have decided to check out Perth Nazarene church for a wee while. There's this new Pastor who's from the US, (to go hand in hand with the US youth pastor + his wife!) and seems to really have his head on the right way with theology and faithfulness not only to the word of God, but also in his passion for real faith. So I guess you'll be assuming I'm sounding so positive that it's perfect for me too? Well. I don't know. Some folks who may read this, know how many churches I've been going to for... well, my whole life. And, in the midst of knowing that there is a good church for us, with teaching at the heart of it's structure, I'm still not settled on moving into the church- or any church that I've been to.
I can like parts of what a Church does, but never settle. I find it unexplainably hard to fit in with a group, or fit in with any new people within a church. Don't ask me why. I think it may be something to do with moving so much, and never being truly settled. But even past that, beyond all the uneasyness of movement within churches, and different denominations, I know God has set me apart for a different purpose.
To be quite honest, I could fire some ideas right at you, but I can't put my finger right on what God wants to lead me into regarding worship. See, the thing is, I think I'm only truly starting to understand the meaning of being in church everyday with my Father.
What many of the Churches across the World, I feel, have missed, is the simple need that each and every one of us have to spend time in God's presence. Within faith, it is a person's desire, their very thirst, to come to God as a unified people and worship together. So many churches have forgotten that beyond structural time, heating temperatures in a church, money in the offering bag, that there stands Christians who come to a Church hoping to be stripped of their own worldly selfs and come to God together in a real, alive way. That kind of experience, is something that can happen on a bus on the way to Edinburgh, or at work, or at the dinner table. Church, the very sharing in the Kingdom of God, is coming to God and worshipping Him. It even goes far beyond songs of praise, or dancing round the pulpit during communion! Worship is coming to the Lord's presence, spending time to delve into His beauty and give him the honour. That means that even the quiet times we take during the evening or mornings can be hugely breathtaking moments, where we can simply read His word and commit back to Him our faithfulness and our praise.
So, why does that all matter? (Why won't Eli shut up?)
Truth is, I don't think any Church has the answer to perfection. I believe we're sitting in the waiting room of life, where Heaven is being eagerly awaited. Church is only a foretaste of much greater things to come.
However. I didn't just write all that for the crack. Church, the community of people, its something that is really embedded into my heart right now. I know that the physical Church is something slipping away for so many. Even the Christians that are committed to top notch, are falling away from broken Churches that they believe cannot be trusted any longer.
I think, even some of the most passionate and most theologically based Christians can enroll into the ICC, can follow a strict routine of prayer each day and Church every Sunday and still not have experienced the real meaning of Church within.
Sometimes I find that hard to admit too also, the simple fact that I've been to so many churches now- many churches that are extremely structural and simply regard the moral life without a faith basis as being correct, and that I even find it so hard to experience the Church that God wants us to have a taste of every moment of every day.
I know God's is pulling strings in my heart pulling me into this sphere of the Church world. I feel almost detached about it though, because I know that a huge part of me simply fuels on my personal faith, sharing with God everything I am. But I also know that Church has fueled me too. Being a unified people is a strong foretaste of the great Kingdom of God.
I've had it on my heart to be working with people. I don't know in what sphere of work, or in what period of time. I'm completely unsure as to where God will lead me in the next few years of my life. Whether he'll take me to study, or keep me working for missions organisations and outreaches. But, Church. What a word that is! And what words it must bring in people's minds. Whether its the words "boring" or "charismatic" or even "inspirational", within this culture, there is a distinct lack of God centered teaching going hand in hand with a strong openness to truly allow the Kingdom of God- the Church within us, to make its way into the Church building. Truth is, I think so many of us are scared witless of our faiths, because at the end of the day, sometimes the very Church we believe can strengthen us, is actually hindering us in not being openly passionate about the Gospel or simply about praise.
I'm not saying that every church is like this, nor that its something churches have done on purpose. Like I said, there will never be perfection in a Church's walls, but only in the Kingdom of God to come.
I believe the Lord has a work for me with that word- and with the people who have stereotypes or are even involved, so closely, with Churches. I don't know what yet, I don't know how- But I know my Saviour is leading me.
Bleh. That was a long rant. Haha. So apart from Church- I'm also keeping busy with work. I'm still working for Lendrick Muir- loving bits of it, and drawing close to God in all of it. I know he has me there for a purpose, and I'm following His will. I know its a training period for something to come! (hopefully not to be manager of a metro's loo block!) :P I'd appreciate your prayers for me and for everyone else at LM at this time. Its a big place, with lots of people, and whilst I very much know God is using us for great things, there are so many things to also be worked in.
My birthday is in 2 days! Oh my goooooosh! I'm getting OLD. Haha! Aw man, I just love remebering how much God has worked in me in the last years. From truly being a wretch, and to being so blind to God's love, He changed me completely and worked in me. He still is working on my heart and I know many people have commented on the fact they feel God is using me now, I truly only feel He has been exercising my faith for something else. I could rant on about all the hard points in the last 17 years, but there isn't any point, because I'm here now, only vaguely baby-steps truly into a faith that requires a lifetime of passionate and committed time and heart. I'm excited, and also a little scared for what He has ahead for me. I really know deep down something is to come that will change my world around.
So yeah... This Saturday kicks off all my great adventures with partaaays. Looking forward to it.
Also, I'm looking into getting the Canon EOS50D, I've been wanting it for an age, and I'm hoping in the next month my dream will come true! =D
Your continual prayers for my family as a whole, those down south and up here in the north, would be more than appreciated right now. - My Grandpa seems to be getting a little worse, and the pain its causing for others is very upsetting. Just please keep Him in your prayers!
I just also want to give a really big thanks to those who have stuck by me this past 2 months, Faye- You have been a massive encouragement! I can't quite believe how God has strung us two together over the last while. I'm so thankful though that he did, you've been ameeezzin. ;)
All the other folk just checking to see how things are going... You have no idea how much friendship has meant to be in the last while, especially when there has been mixed emotions in my heart over everything.
To be honest. I know there are far worse things ahead, but God has been loyal to my heart, and I know that He is guiding me constantly.
"I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do, Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which the God has called me heavenward through Christ Jesus."
