Long needed blog!

Man, I have so needed to do this blog for ages! I feel very bad for not getting the time, but hey, I'll fill you in on all that I can fill you in on.

Won't go into depth with work- but just to let you know, that your continual prayers would be more than appreciated for me now, and for the rest of the staff. As you may guess, our work is massive- we not only deal with big numbers, but its actually quite a big task too. So God's control is more than vital. Just a big thank you to those who have been praying for me over the last few months- these prayers mean so much!

Had an awful few days with bad news. Having left Mum to travel South for a week- we've heard of so many of our good friends picking up things from A-Z, brain tumors, and immune system diseases too! I guess the Casting Crowns song 'Praise you in this storm' is something that keeps coming back to me. I think we sometimes forget how big situations can be compared to us. We are completely out of control of so many things and its only when we listen through the lashing rain and the thundering winds, that we know God is calling out or names and asking us to simply trust.

I guess over the last month, 'trust' and its meaning has just become so much more real to me. In all the insecurity of life and our futures, trust in God's authority of our plans is so essential and yet sometimes so hard to actually put into practice. "Trust is the firm reliability of someone or something" It's not that when we step into faith, trust is just something that tags along with belief. Because, belief is something completely different. Trust is all about relationship- its all about grasping the idea of falling back into the arms of the Saviour. It's not just believing his arms are there, but understanding that He wants to catch us, and we want to fall into His arms willingly.

See, truth is, over the last month, I feel like a complete different person. I know people have asked me about this, and to be honest, I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure if its just tiredness, or if God's making me a new creation day by day. Like inside me, there is this moulding session. I feel so apart from the world- even from life. When I'm at work, its great, but I don't feel like I'm part of the world I was in before I came.

Somebody commented on the fact that I should be careful when I come out of SU, because the world isn't like that at all. I think God's just been reassuring me that this year (maybe even longer! I can't believe I'm saying that. No catering though. I couldn't cope. =P) is a simple training period. Not just learning my ounces from grams, but drawing close to His magnificent glory and understanding His love in a more passionate and integral way. I guess thats why I feel a little different. 5th year in school and this year, man- I'm a complete opposite. Because I feel like I'm being spiritually trained, I feel I'm spiritually maturing- it's almost like I am literally "not of this world" 5 days a week. And even through the weekends, I feel at peace with God, that He knows what He's doing, and that He has so much more for me to learn.

I really wonder what I'll be like outside of Lendrick Muir and whether I'll turn out to be a different person. Whether I'll still almost be in this zone of spiritually training (which I know is a lifetime process) or if I'll adapt to being a Christian that can make a change in a non-Christian society that so needs to know the love of God in a social and interactive way.

Even so, I'm coping with stress in the kitchens, with tiredness to the ultimate level and a lot going on with the family. I'm realising even more how much my family have been rocks to be in the last year. (Sure, they were supportive to me beforehand, but I never liked to recieve their support! =P) I just thank God that He is in charge. I thank Him that He wants me to trust him fully, so that when I feel like falling- when I know that I can no longer keep that strength going, that His arms will be outstretched and that He will carry me back home.

I have a real passion to make a difference in my area and beyond. Whether God has that planned for me this year is a different story- lets just say, a youth group in my village would be a vision that very much I feel needs prayer. Also a church here- whilst we have the C of S, we just pray that God will use us as a family to do his work in our home. So that we can come into contact with people who think church is all about pews and hymns.

So I guess that is kind of my news! I'm sure there is more! But thats all for now!

A quick note about yesterday though! Great fellowship for Row's baptism, and an awesome load of people there.

Anyways! I'm hitting the sack! Cheerio!

-Friend of Jesus,

Elii xo [:

woo!

I've been stuck with the cold now for 4 weeks.

Its actually so awful.

I'm more tired than ever.

Hey. Life is interesting!

Got a new FROG band today which has actually made my day- relying on God keeps me fueled man! :P

Anyways, a quick post to show I'm not forgetting- and truly, I'm not. I just get back from work and feel so tired that I can't be bothered!

GB!

-

Inner Beauty lasts beyond time or measure. Embrace the moments to warm your soul with Grace, Peace, Joy; but most of all, Love. Love will shape you, enfold you and guard you. Far beyond the fleeting beauty of a face, love is the very transparency to show the indescribable beauty of a soul created by a Creator who's heart is bursting full of  devotion, adoration and affection for His Children. 

Newwws.

Hey [:

Wow, so I'm getting so bad at keeping this blog going! I even noticed that with my emails- the people I most want to email, I forget about so easily! How life changes aye?! =P

Ach, had an incredibly busy week. Having started full time work on Monday, I had Wednesday off, but been on the house team and catering for the week. We have a group of 120 people arriving at 8.00 tonight so I was preparing their supper and tomorrow's breakfast. It's an early start tomorrow! 9.00am work- (actually, thats a lie in for me! I usually work at 8.30am- score!) and loads to do in the day. I finish up Sunday late afternoon and then have Monday off! Uber chill then I think!

So... News. Mhairi (Or Mars as it seems everyone now knows her as) got a job with my Father. LOL. And the first comment I get about her first day is "Your dad rocks! He buys Domino's pizza for lunch!" Ace. I really have to question why we don't get the same treatment at home! Haha.

Keeping busy over the next few weeks and months with work. Turns out I'm going to a lot of courses too. A First Aid course, a Health and Hygeine course- oh, and check this, I'm also going to be trained in Archery! It means I can finally really get involved with schools work! (Hopefully :P) That's if I can actually get away from the numerous Scones and Marshmallow slices that are crowding around my life at the moment.

Hmm, what else to share? Well, My family has decided to start a worship evening here at the house on Wednesday evenings- including a meal! Oh yeaah. ;] It's pretty good because we don't really have a church at the moment, so this will be a nice wee change.

We've had a load of people come to us in the last couple of days and just share the simple fact that SAE has been a part of their conversion- its so exciting to hear that God is at work in the page! [:

So, life is busy. But good. To be honest, I'm just looking forward to a free-er weekend!

I'm going through Isaiah 43 right now... and man, is it good. If you have time, check it out! =D

Gb,

-friend of Jesus

Eli [: xo

Past.

Haha! Man, you have no idea how appropriate my last blog was for how I'm feeling right now.

I just had a quick whiz through old emails. When I say old, I mean when I was about 14. Like, the days when you thought you were really quite mature, but looking back, it's hilarious to imagine the things you used to do.

I just read an email my parents sent Mic- big guy, lives in Aberdeen... drinks a lot of Irn Bru. [: It was this proposed trip to the Deen that some of my mates and me had. Anyway, it all ended up getting in a mad argument. Basically, my parents didn't want me to go up because 1: they didn't trust Mic and 2: didn't really trust me.

It makes me laugh so bad contrasting that to now. My parents trust me with almost anything- I travel quite a lot. I'm not even in the house as much as I used to be.

It's just so weird- to look back and imagine the past. I'm a full time worker now, who will be driving in the next two months. Whoahh. When did the fast-forward button get pushed? I can remember the first trip to Aberdeen. The days when my parents texted and phoned to make sure I was 'safe'. Or even just those trips to the town every Saturday. Its remembering things that is more weird than ever. Because you start to wonder where the links are in your timeline.

Like, where did I learn to be mature and trustworthy? And when? And when did I learn to make the right friends? Because, somewhere along the line, I have.

In some ways, there is a part of me thanking God for having brought me here, to this age and to this stage of life. Because I know I have so much more to learn, but I feel so much more wise! And some people will be reading this and laughing their heads off. Haha. But man, I feel so much older than ever before right now. 

In other ways, I'm dying to go back.

You know, its true that it's good to make mistakes and learn from them. Its also true that I myself learn best from mistakes. But; every time I look back and notice the massive change in situations, people, and most of all me. It just shows even more clearly how fast life is. Those moments we cherish only last seconds in a lifetime. The good times and even the bad, all just are a fleeting moment.

And looking into the past, it can be so funny, and even a little hurtful at times. But you know, it doesn't half remind you of the need for us to live like today is our last day.

Change.

Yesterday was absolute manic. I was volunteer catering for the farewell do for all those leaving this year from SU. It was buffet style- but loads of work. Worked from 8.30am-9.00pm! Ugh dear. I was completely run off my feet! Haha. Even so, good experience.

Actually, sort of looking forward to being in the kitchens more. Its a nice change. But for a year? Well, it'll be interesting anyway.

So, slept till like 12 noon this morning! Missed phonecalls and all that jazz. Oh dear! =P Even so, so needed the sleep. I think I'm gonna do some baking this morning and pick up some Irn Bru! Mhairi hits Glenfy tonight! Oh yeah Baby! :D

Busy few weeks ahead! I of course start full time work on Monday. This Saturday is hill walking... and Sunday I'm gonna chill! =D Monday-Tuesday, work work work. Wednesday is my day off- so hoping to see Mic then! :D And maybe even Claire! Funn shtuff!

Then Thursday- Sunday is my next shift. Oh yeaaah! I'm catering for a massive weekend. Woohoo!

God has definitely got something massively challenging for me this year- I'm just praying he'll get me through it!

Kind of feel a little low this morning- not spiritually, just... the word 'change' seems to be more real than ever to me.

At the start of the year, change wouldn't have been greatly expected or warmly received. However, 2008 has been a weird year, where everything seems to have gone wrong. But now that I look at it, its not that its gone wrong, its more that its just changed.

Thing is, the biggest thing of all is that I've changed with it. And looking back, almost makes me cringe at the person I was. And the things that I fell into.

Thats why this year is something I just know God is going to use to touch me. I know that things are going to change even more- my life has completely changed around. And I want to remember that even when the storms hit home, I have a Saviour who wants to hold my hand through all the roughs.

What an awesome God!

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo 

I'm backbackback!

Whooah. Well, that was a few days of madness!

I really am so tired- calculated it all this morning. Thats me been away from home (with occasional stop ins) for 6 weeks! Lovely. I start work on Monday too- so that should be even more interesting. Trying to juggle sleep, work, SAE and social life is going to be hard. Ach, up for the challenge =P

Even so, forget the tiredness. My gosh- what an exceptional few days?!

I went thinking... "Oh my word... this is going to be rather boring. A few days of being inducted into SU." Worst thing was, I was also sick the morning we were going to leave- it was really rather horrible, having a mix of this throaty/heady cold and a sickness bug was just not nice. However, I went. Soso glad I did. It was 3 days of rather busy times yet it was in the most strange way also a time of having a "retreat". Really getting away, concentrating on God and concentrating on the next year in hand.

So, we were up North in Aviemore. In an SU base called Alltnacriche. Man- how different it is compared to Lendrick Muir. In a good way! It's one of these places that no matter how far you are from the house, you know your not going to get lost. There's a sense of just walking and knowing you have time to listen and to meditate on the things God has spoken to you today. So different from LM- at LM, you can so easily get lost in the forest! There's also just not such a strong sense of family there. Alltnacriche is a family home- you can sense that. Just to set the scene (=P), it's a picturesque house, overlooking large grounds, abounding hills and a stream with a bridge is situated just a few steps away from the door. Rabbits, Pheasents and Squirrels galore!

Every day we were stuffed with seminars, with prayer points and with LOTS of coffee! Half of those seminars were based on the work we were going to be doing with SU and what was connected with it. Such as professionalism or supporting the finance etc. The other half were seriously digging into the word of God. We had a guy called Graham Black there who was really great at what he was doing.

We worked through 1 Samuel- which I have to say, I've never completely understood well, however, I really grasped it there. We also had a seminar which was called 'Bible Engagement"- or "Personal time". Basically it addressed the whole aspect of our quiet times and meditation points with God. We were taught a different way of going through a part of the Bible- which was very helpful, then encouraged to take time out for half an hour to go out onto the grounds or in the house, and take time with one verse. It was absolutely great- I have always encouraged others to take the Bible bit by bit, because I know how exhausting and how confusing it can be to stuff information in by the bundle. Taking it 1 verse at a time though was really taking the pace slow- however, it surprised me how much I could get out of it.

Over the last 6 weeks I have been so busy with different things- trips, work etc. The staff induction was to me meant to be work, however, it really was a retreat. The one thing that my other trips didn't offer me (such as Keswick) was the time on my own to go and pray, or to think. It just really showed me clearly how important again it is to spend alone time with God. Sure, we might not have squirrels skippering about before us, or a stream and bridge, however, time is time. And moments with God go far beyond time. They should be moments cherished, moments we are excited and passionate about.

I so have to commit to being more structural with where I fit everything else. I want God to come first- and time with Him, it changes not only your day, but also your perspective.

Working through Samuel was also so inspirational and encouraging. At the very young aye of three, Samuel was already a boy committed to His Lord and Saviour. We were pushed to not just have a Positional relationship with God (being before God) but also to have a relational side to our faith- (we must have a connection with God and a one to one friendship).

Although Black's teaching was the highlight, there was far more to the few days. We had to apply lots of things to our work with SU. There were points where the house team group couldn't apply a lot of the teaching- however, it was agreed that we actually, as cleaners, do see kids even far more than some of the school workers do.

The few days were solely time to give to God. We got to know one another, got to put faces to names, but really, for me, I felt a deep connection with God that I've needed to have over the summer so dearly. Its moments that you can stop, put the God-breathed teaching into your heart, store the word of God that you have heard, and just spend time thanking Him for who He is and what He has given.

Again, its been a renewal of the need for prayer. I can't stop telling people that if you have a heart for God and for doing things for God- if you have an evangelistic calling, then begin it all in prayer. Its my belief that without God being involved in the mission that you want to begin, then its a false attempt at doing something that God needs to be a part of.

Meeting up with the Gap year girls too was really great. Its going to be good working with a few of them, however I know I am restricted to the kitchens more than anything for the next six months. That will be a little hard- however, I am just praying that God will equip me.

I have no doubts in believing that He brought me here for a reason. I also believe God brought me to it, because he does know that I can go through it with his help. This quote keeps coming back to me- "God does not call the equipped, but equips the called." I just feel that that quote sums up my job at the moment. I have no particular skilling in catering, however I do feel he will equip me in knowledge, patience and confidence.

Being away at the retreat sometimes makes you feel a little bit dizzy when you get back home. Its bad news to hear my Grandad is once again in hospital- yet, there are some blessings in that He has spent time with my Gran recollecting the past and taking a look at the good times. 

A little bit of the bad news also is that, I'm still quite ill. Rubbish thing is, I start work on Monday (full time) but I'm also working tomorrow. Its just a little bit annoying that I'm still not myself. I really don't have bundles of energy and feel a little drained still. However, I have every belief that the sniffles will go when I get praying- if your reading this and could pray too- that would be fab!

So, I actually felt like I should write my blog post first. Get it all off of my chest! Bebo doesn't seem to be working- maybe God is telling me something! =P I realised half way through last night that I actually hadn't been thinking about Bebo at all up North. Doesn't that show you something?! =P

So I have a farewell dinner tomorrow to cater for. A meeting to attend. Friday is my day to chill! Going to spend it with God! Then Sat, few of us going for a walk. Sunday- another God day! Yass. :D

I think I'm going to pester my Dad and get my provisional liscence tonight. Woop!

Anyways, 

I'm back! (FOR GOOD)

-Friend of Jesus,

Eli [: xo