Won't go into depth with work- but just to let you know, that your continual prayers would be more than appreciated for me now, and for the rest of the staff. As you may guess, our work is massive- we not only deal with big numbers, but its actually quite a big task too. So God's control is more than vital. Just a big thank you to those who have been praying for me over the last few months- these prayers mean so much!
Had an awful few days with bad news. Having left Mum to travel South for a week- we've heard of so many of our good friends picking up things from A-Z, brain tumors, and immune system diseases too! I guess the Casting Crowns song 'Praise you in this storm' is something that keeps coming back to me. I think we sometimes forget how big situations can be compared to us. We are completely out of control of so many things and its only when we listen through the lashing rain and the thundering winds, that we know God is calling out or names and asking us to simply trust.
I guess over the last month, 'trust' and its meaning has just become so much more real to me. In all the insecurity of life and our futures, trust in God's authority of our plans is so essential and yet sometimes so hard to actually put into practice. "Trust is the firm reliability of someone or something" It's not that when we step into faith, trust is just something that tags along with belief. Because, belief is something completely different. Trust is all about relationship- its all about grasping the idea of falling back into the arms of the Saviour. It's not just believing his arms are there, but understanding that He wants to catch us, and we want to fall into His arms willingly.
See, truth is, over the last month, I feel like a complete different person. I know people have asked me about this, and to be honest, I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure if its just tiredness, or if God's making me a new creation day by day. Like inside me, there is this moulding session. I feel so apart from the world- even from life. When I'm at work, its great, but I don't feel like I'm part of the world I was in before I came.
Somebody commented on the fact that I should be careful when I come out of SU, because the world isn't like that at all. I think God's just been reassuring me that this year (maybe even longer! I can't believe I'm saying that. No catering though. I couldn't cope. =P) is a simple training period. Not just learning my ounces from grams, but drawing close to His magnificent glory and understanding His love in a more passionate and integral way. I guess thats why I feel a little different. 5th year in school and this year, man- I'm a complete opposite. Because I feel like I'm being spiritually trained, I feel I'm spiritually maturing- it's almost like I am literally "not of this world" 5 days a week. And even through the weekends, I feel at peace with God, that He knows what He's doing, and that He has so much more for me to learn.
I really wonder what I'll be like outside of Lendrick Muir and whether I'll turn out to be a different person. Whether I'll still almost be in this zone of spiritually training (which I know is a lifetime process) or if I'll adapt to being a Christian that can make a change in a non-Christian society that so needs to know the love of God in a social and interactive way.
Even so, I'm coping with stress in the kitchens, with tiredness to the ultimate level and a lot going on with the family. I'm realising even more how much my family have been rocks to be in the last year. (Sure, they were supportive to me beforehand, but I never liked to recieve their support! =P) I just thank God that He is in charge. I thank Him that He wants me to trust him fully, so that when I feel like falling- when I know that I can no longer keep that strength going, that His arms will be outstretched and that He will carry me back home.
I have a real passion to make a difference in my area and beyond. Whether God has that planned for me this year is a different story- lets just say, a youth group in my village would be a vision that very much I feel needs prayer. Also a church here- whilst we have the C of S, we just pray that God will use us as a family to do his work in our home. So that we can come into contact with people who think church is all about pews and hymns.
So I guess that is kind of my news! I'm sure there is more! But thats all for now!
A quick note about yesterday though! Great fellowship for Row's baptism, and an awesome load of people there.
Anyways! I'm hitting the sack! Cheerio!
-Friend of Jesus,
Elii xo [:
